It’s still too easy.

I thought maybe sleeping would afford me the opportunity to wake up from this nightmare that is the world around me. But it hasn’t. C’est la vie. So now we’ll talk about Grammar for a minute.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect every person to speak flawless English. I certainly don’t. Nor do I write flawless sentences. And I don’t expect such from others. However, when faced with some of the trainwrecks of the English Language that I’ve seen recently, I can’t help but wonder what the hell is going on in High School grammar classes. Example: You didn’t “done” something. You *did*. You HAVE done before. I got me a problem is no more proper than ;lakdjflkajd. I have gotten an object. And please know the difference between a transitive and an intransitive verb. Example: “John instructs Math”. Oh really? What does John instruct Math to do? And does it listen?

And there are just some things you should know if you’re going to leave your house. No more is this apparent than in the realm of classical music.

Mozart did not write any of the following:

Symphonie Fantastique (Berlioz)

Carmina Burana (Carl Orff)

Ode to Joy (Beethoven)

Likewise, Beethoven didn’t write Flight of the Bumblebee or Eine Kliene Natchmusik. That was Mozart.

Henry Ford didn’t invent the automobile. Edison invented the Lightbulb (not Benjamin Franklin). Franklin didn’t invent electricity, nor did he discover it. He did, however, recognize the significance of it. Gravity, at least on earth, is a constant force. Bumble Bees can fly, even though some physics models say they can’t. They don’t sting, by the way. All spiders *can* bite. They are, after all, carnivores. They just might not have a mouth big enough to bite *you*. Bugs have four legs, insects six, and arachnids eight. A gerund is a present-tense verb used as a noun. (I enjoy diving.) Tonight’s debates aren’t debates, they are a series of speeches. A debate involves interaction and challenge. Words have meanings. Columbus discovered America by accident. He didn’t know it was here nor did he realize what he had found when he landed. He thought the natives were from India–thus we have *indians* in America–which was named for the man who TRULY recognized the significance: Amerigo Vespucci, an *Italian* cartographer. Greenland is NOT the same size as Africa, and France is the size of Texas. England, which looks bigger than South America, is actually the size of California. And Alaska isn’t the largest state–Texas is. (Though if you count the water around Hawaii, it’s Hawaii.) Something that happens at 10AM in New York happens *simultaneously* at 11AM in Saint Louis Missouri–not an hour later. So don’t call your friends for the powerball winning numbers. I’m sure there are more of these, but you get the point. Please, for the love of all things sacred, don’t highlight ignorance! 🙂