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Bailout, Shmailout.

Bailout, Shmailout.

Or: Why the House was right to reject the $700 billion welfare bill.

So let me get this straight.

Congress rejects a $700 billion bailout bill and, in response, the stock market loses $1.2 TRILLION dollars? Something smells here — and it ain’t the caviar on my fancy French cheese or the better than decent German wine in my glass. It’s the thought that we’re considering a $700 billion bailout for irresponsible lenders in the first place.

Let me put this to you another way: I’m going to buy a nice, new Expedition — the loaded version — and I’m going to not pay the note. Then I’m going to come knock on your door and ask that you pay off my Expedition so I can — wait for it — buy a new Escalade.

That’s what this is. Listen to Paulson and how, it seems, all he talks about is “keeping the banks lending.”


Isn’t lending what got us into this position in the first place? And then let’s talk about why we need to bail out these companies in the first place? Liberal Democrat here says “No, you moron companies. You do not need a bailout. You need a bankruptcy.”

Disagree? Not so fast. Just do the math.

Today, the stock market lost almost double what these companies’ bad loans are worth. That means even if Congress approved a bailout tonight, we’re still $500 billion down at open of business in the morning. So consider your day.

Think about breakfast. Think about lunch. Think about that new pair of shoes you considered buying when you were picking up dinner. Did you do one thing differently today than you will do tomorrow? No.

And why? The dirty little secret no one is talking about is the answer.

This meltdown has already inflicted its damage. If you have a decent credit score and your 20 percent downpayment, you’ll still get your new mortgage. If you have a good pay history on your credit cards and a job, you’ll still be able to get your ultra-HD Big Screen T.V. on 180-days Same As Cash at your friendly neighborhood Best Buy.

If, however, you’re a meth-addicted crack whore working a minimum wage job at McDonald’s with a 325 credit rating (and let’s face it, if you have a pulse, you score a 300), then guess what: no, sweetheart, you will not be able to buy your $450,000 McMansion in Tuscan Hills Estates.

To Congress, I have but one thing to say: let the damned banks fail and, if their CEOs go suicidal, tell them to call me. I’ll loan them a rope.