Buy Michael's books:

Free Choice, Free Will, and Free samples.

Free Choice, Free Will, and Free samples.

I’m bowled over every time I get an email offering to increase the size of body parts with a miracle pill. Mind you, I already knew that if I wished to grow breasts I could do so — oddly enough by taking a pill. Unfortunately for the spammers, I know that those are not the pills they are offering. Nor do I desire to grow breasts. And I’m quite comfortable with the other part of my anatomy that the spammers are so interested in growing larger.

I guess that is what makes me different from the vast numbers of men in America today. I really don’t give a shit how big other men are and I’m not intimidated by their boldness. I can fight, I choose not to. I don’t get embarrassed in the locker room, and yes, I sing in the shower after racketball.

Who cares what other people think?

There in is our first lesson. I have free choice, so I choose not to indulge in self-pity. If my abs aren’t defined or my legs less muscular, if my ass flabbier or my penis smaller than the guy with the locker next to mine, I’m no less of a person than he. Appearances are deceiving. Confidence isn’t.

I have free will, too. And there is a subtle difference between choice. I choose to love people, indulge in chocolate. Free Will is different, in that I control my emotions, my desires, my philosophical structures. I am not ruled by anyone nor do I seek to rule others. Force, sometimes necessary, is rarely the answer to any human interaction, especially interpersonal relations. “Meet me in the parking lot and we’ll settle this,” isn’t a mode of problem resolution that I typically employ. But I am a man of action and will work at all times to correct any situation that needs correcting, make improvements that I can make, and clean up messes that I’m empowered to clean.

What does all of this have to do with “ Your P.E.N.I.S.” emails? I choose not to indulge in self-pity just as I choose to be happy with whom I am. It’s not that hard to do, really.

Try it today and see if it doesn’t change your mood. I mean, how can you change the world if you sulk all the time about things you cannot change? And that’s why we’re on this little lump of rock. Make a dent in the universe. Or at least die tryings.