As if I really believe that MTV, CBS, the producers, and Janet Jackson didn’t know that Justin Timberlake was planning on removing the cup of Jackson’s bustier during the SuperBreast–I mean Bowl halftime show. After all, this *is* the woman who appeared on the cover of Vibe with a nipple ring on the *outside* of her shirt. I mean, come on, do I look that stupid? (That was rhetorical, by the way.)
The big question should not be “Did they know?” Nor should it be “Was this planned?!” No no no no…the BIG question is this: ARE WE FUCKING SURPRISED?! And more importantly, Who CARES?!
And what the hell was SHE thinking? I mean, rubbing your ass up against Justin Timberlake’s Uh-Huhs is one thing. But maybe that explains it: if Britney’s little (pun fully intended) rumors about Justin’s Yeah is true, then maybe rubbing up against it wasn’t enough of a thrill for a woman as experienced and long in the tooth as Janet.
But I think there’s another, far more sinister explanation, one that has, until now, escaped notice. This SuperBowl half-time show will go down in history not for the bared breast or the possible Hundred-plus millions of dollars in fines ($27,500 *per CBS affiliate* airing the game), but rather for what that flash of NippleFlicker Bling bling unequivocably confirms:
Accident or not, we now know beyond a doubt that Janet and Michael are *two different* people. Unfortunately, we’ll need Justin to rip off Michael’s pants to know whether or not he’s male. But we’ve had enough excitement for this year. Let’s save that little revelation for SuperBowl XXXIV.