The hell of writer’s block.

And five other reasons I’m utterly failing on my New Year’s Resolutions…

Okay, so not really. Writing six reasons why I’m failing at my New Year’s resolutions would be pointless, right? So instead, we’ll talk about work and happiness and gratitude. In that order.

Or maybe not.

Maybe we’ll talk about kitty cats and how they always sit at your feet or under your arms or…well maybe not. I know! I’ll talk about the last “West Wing” ep called “The Stormy Present.” It was great. It was…

Have I told you I’m utterly failing at my New Year’s Resolutions?

And now you see what it’s like. Writer’s block is alot like that Adult ADD commercial. You know the one: the girl is sitting there at the business meeting and she keeps thinking about other things? And the announcer says something along the lines of, “Do you feel like your mind is a television that keeps changing channels?” Yeah, that’s writer’s block.

Ironically, as I was working my way up to the first new episode of the best television show on the air, (the West Wing for the uninitiated,) I watched “Ed,” a charming, if not all together compelling, show that airs in the slot immediately before my beloved WW. It has become a quasi-OCD ritual for me. Watch Ed, eat dinner during it, and during the last segment, make sure everything in Stuckyville is nice, safe, and resolved before I turn off the telephone, shut down the computers, lock the doors, and shut out the world for one hour a week.

But this week was different.

Carol, that’s Ed’s girlfriend/fiance/ex depending on where you are in the series, had a meeting with an agent who was setting up a client’s book signing. The agent had read a short story Carol had written and wanted to read her novel–or part of it–to decide if she will represent Carol. Aside from the fact that unless your name is Stephen King or Danielle Steele agents don’t represent writers they represent works, it was a good look into the current hell through which Dante leads me. That’s right, as if the blank paper on my desk, the three empty legal pads, the two notebooks and the snow white computer monitor weren’t enough reminders of my writer’s block, Carol couldn’t find her voice.

And she wrote anyway.

Now the jury’s out on this tactic. Some say write write write, even if it’s shit. Other’s say don’t dare waste your time. Suffer it, get depressed, and it will go away. I’m not sure who is right there. But one thing is for certain: write write write produces shit. I certainly could sympathize with Carol’s constant shredding of the pages. I mean, after all, I know what it’s like. I’ve burned a novel before…or at least part of one.

And yes, it had an axe murder, pirates, Stockholm Syndrome and a Cheerleader-attracting Geek in it.

I even tried to resolve the issue by making a resolution to write more. But such is the nature of the beast, and we’ve come full circle. The kittens are curled, at my feet with care, and I find the most perplexing of my puzzles. This blog entry has near perfect form. It’s balanced, entertaining, humorous, and yes: symmetrical. (Note we started by talking about my New Year’s Resolutions, and that’s where we’re back to, including the bit about the kittens.) I can write…just not what I *want* to write. I *want* to finish the damned book. But here I am, wasting words on nothingness. And not acheiving a damned thing on my list.

Are any of my readers twin blonde women? And are one of you evil?