Or: Why the “he fucking deserved it” defense should be resurrected. Law and Order has killed the justice system. That’s the pronouncement of my good friend, Russ, when I asked him why we no longer have the “He just fucking deserved it” defense in murder and assault cases. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not prone…
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Would someone please hand Britney Spears a bottle of Quaalude’s, a fifth of Stoli and a copy of Me and My Shadows on DVD? I mean seriously, people. This girl has been on the Short Bus to Suicide Watch since she was a Mouseketteer. Why must we prolong the inevitable? Come on, everyone in America…
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Or: Why I think modern Conservatism should be treated with a laxative. Oh dear God. If ever you wanted to know the problem with the modern ‘conservative’ ‘movement’, read the posts on my local newspaper web site. I call it the ‘conservative’ ‘movement’ because it is neither conservative nor a movement. Instead, it is a…
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I’m not an alcoholic. I just like to drink. Alot. There is a very good reason why I drink, but we’ll get to that in a minute. Suffice it to say, I’m a drinker. And, as a drinker, I drink. Alot. Usually, I either drink with friends at home (wine, mixed drinks), or at the…
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Or: Why did it take her so long to realize that? “Son, you’re weird.” That was this year’s pre-Thanksgiving proclamation from my grandmother. (Also known as the only member of my family I can stand to be around for more than five minutes in a stretch.)Â Each year, she makes some pronouncement about something relatively…
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I’ve been blessed in my life to grow up amid a diverse group of friends and family. Spending ten years off and on in school also gave me the opportunity to become exposed to an equally-diverse number of cultures and religious beliefs. Alchemy is one of them. Let me state emphatically one thing: I am…
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Or: Where the fuck are the balls in politics? What happened to politicians? Seriously. When Bill Clinton was running for president, he didn’t whine about all the women he had boned coming out and talking about his bad manners. No, he took it like a man! I’m sorry, I cannot vote for a single person…
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I really think the above should be a diagnosis. Can’t you just see Angie Harmon looking at the cold corps of a murder victim with no face and then looking up when the woman that looks like Oprah says, “It wasn’t blunt-force trauma to the face. Sudden-onset Nasal Implosion.” So the other night, I went…
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When I lived in Austin, Texas, I had my first exposure to Starbucks. And I must say, I was an elitist. If I couldn’t get my cup of coffee from some kid with a nose ring, I wasn’t drinking coffee. I was the epitome of the “anti-Starbucks” movement. To understand how difficult this is, you…
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ComCast is not ComCastic. On its best day, it’s ComAcceptible. Today, alas, for the fourth day since moving into my new apartment 16 days ago, I’ve been saddled with non-working service. This time, digital phone service that has quit working quite inexplicably. Previously over the last two weeks, the cable has been deleted from their…
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