Buy Michael's books: Amazon.com

Category: All posts

On the remarkable symmetry of everyday life.

So Saturday, a friend of mine quit her job so she could hang out with me. No, this is not the start of a joke. And no, it wasn’t planned. Instead, it truly was a spur of the moment thing to spend some time together in Shreveport, a few hours down the road. Sure she…
Read more

What to do on a sunday in Louisiana.

“I really need to get a life because I enjoy this shit too much.” I blink at Toni’s blunt pronouncement, made just loudly enough for the people at the other end of the plastic picnic table to glance our way, a perplexed look of surprise written on their faces. Immediately, I recognized the look as…
Read more

A Wake For My Youth.

I officially became old today. And it’s not my birthday. Last night, at Karaoke with Judy, she noticed I kept moving my glasses farther and farther down my nose in order to read the small print in the songbook. Finally, she handed me her glasses and, voíla. I could see the text perfectly. So today,…
Read more

Other People’s Drama

Once, while working as a marketing director for a non-profit, I decided I would one day write a one-hour T.V. program called “Other People’s Drama.” It would focus on the lives of a group of people who work in a volunteer organization and the way the drama of daily life can infect everything a group…
Read more

On the Perfect Martini

Living in Louisiana, it’s hard to find a good Martini, much less a perfect one. When I ask for a Martini in a restaurant, I’m inevitably asked by the server, “What kind? We have apple-tinis, chocolatinis, Grandma’sSinusitustini’s.” I’m a purist. A quick visit over to Wikipedia will give any curious dipsomaniac a rundown on the…
Read more

Let it snow?! You have GOT to be kidding me

The one day. THE ONE day I want decent weather, it snows…in Louisiana. In March. I have tickets to “The Producers” tonight, with plans to take my kid. I cannot overstate how much I love “The Producers”. It is one of my all-time favorite shows. And the kidlet even bought a new dress. Now for…
Read more

Common Sense Justice Defenses

Or: Why the “he fucking deserved it” defense should be resurrected. Law and Order has killed the justice system. That’s the pronouncement of my good friend, Russ, when I asked him why we no longer have the “He just fucking deserved it” defense in murder and assault cases. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not prone…
Read more

Pass the Draino.

Would someone please hand Britney Spears a bottle of Quaalude’s, a fifth of Stoli and a copy of Me and My Shadows on DVD? I mean seriously, people. This girl has been on the Short Bus to Suicide Watch since she was a Mouseketteer. Why must we prolong the inevitable? Come on, everyone in America…
Read more

On the glaring need to increase political fiber intake

Or: Why I think modern Conservatism should be treated with a laxative. Oh dear God. If ever you wanted to know the problem with the modern ‘conservative’ ‘movement’, read the posts on my local newspaper web site. I call it the ‘conservative’ ‘movement’ because it is neither conservative nor a movement. Instead, it is a…
Read more

Three Days.

I’m not an alcoholic. I just like to drink. Alot. There is a very good reason why I drink, but we’ll get to that in a minute. Suffice it to say, I’m a drinker. And, as a drinker, I drink. Alot. Usually, I either drink with friends at home (wine, mixed drinks), or at the…
Read more