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Strange Holiday Pronouncements

Or: Why did it take her so long to realize that? “Son, you’re weird.” That was this year’s pre-Thanksgiving proclamation from my grandmother. (Also known as the only member of my family I can stand to be around for more than five minutes in a stretch.)Â Each year, she makes some pronouncement about something relatively…
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Alchemy and The Elements

I’ve been blessed in my life to grow up amid a diverse group of friends and family. Spending ten years off and on in school also gave me the opportunity to become exposed to an equally-diverse number of cultures and religious beliefs. Alchemy is one of them. Let me state emphatically one thing: I am…
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Politics sans spines.

Or: Where the fuck are the balls in politics? What happened to politicians? Seriously. When Bill Clinton was running for president, he didn’t whine about all the women he had boned coming out and talking about his bad manners. No, he took it like a man! I’m sorry, I cannot vote for a single person…
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Sudden-onset Nasal Implosion

I really think the above should be a diagnosis. Can’t you just see Angie Harmon looking at the cold corps of a murder victim with no face and then looking up when the woman that looks like Oprah says, “It wasn’t blunt-force trauma to the face. Sudden-onset Nasal Implosion.” So the other night, I went…
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The Anti-Starbucks Effect.

When I lived in Austin, Texas, I had my first exposure to Starbucks. And I must say, I was an elitist. If I couldn’t get my cup of coffee from some kid with a nose ring, I wasn’t drinking coffee. I was the epitome of the “anti-Starbucks” movement. To understand how difficult this is, you…
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ComBiteme

ComCast is not ComCastic. On its best day, it’s ComAcceptible. Today, alas, for the fourth day since moving into my new apartment 16 days ago, I’ve been saddled with non-working service. This time, digital phone service that has quit working quite inexplicably. Previously over the last two weeks, the cable has been deleted from their…
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I’ve moved!

I’ve moved!! The new address for the blog is here!. Just to be kind of annoying, unless you click stop now, you’ll be automatically redirected there in about three….two….one….See you on the other side, Neo. md

Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?

All of the hoopla about Vice President Cheney’s hunting accident has made me pause and ponder. Why, in an ‘enlightened’ society, has honor gone the way of the do-do? Consider for a moment the lowly place that honesty and integrity holds in our culture. What were once two of the most lauded values in a…
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And I think to myself.

Stop for a moment and ponder the awesome complexity of the world in which we live. Still pondering? Good. It’s complex. Really complex. Quit thinking about your own bodies for a moment and think big picture — really big! Global. Weather patterns over the Sahara change fishing conditions in Louisiana. Fish spawning in Oregon affect…
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Happy Holidays. Now Piss Off.

I offered to help a friend with her Christmas party this year, catering/food/bar stuff. Nothing too big, right? (BAAAAAAAAHHHHNK, sorry, that’s the wrong answer.) Somewhere in my brain, the words “Christmas” and “party” simply didn’t compute into the holiday season. I generally like holidays, just not this one. Perhaps the reason I dislike Christmas is…
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